No half-truths, no lies – progress

It’s been more than a month since I started this experiment, no half-truths, no lies, on the 31st of December. It’s not nearly as easy as I would have expected it to be. For the first few days I caught myself saying some half-truths and even some small lies without even realizing I was saying them.

This made me realize that half-truths were more of a habit for me than an exception to my regular speech. Most of them were just a way to protect other people’s feelings by saying the things I believe in a polite way, masking the truth behind some pretty words, but at the same time losing a bit of my actual beliefs and feelings in the process.

I have also realized that most of the lies I said were, just as the half-truths, meant to keep from hurting other people’s feelings. Most of them were omission lies and not really an attempt to distort facts.

After the first two weeks this constant check to cut out all half-truths and lies made me more present in the conversation, more aware of the interaction and more opened. Many conversations have become more meaningful and deeper than they would usually turn out to be. This is one of the things I’m most excited about.

I said things I never thought I would say before, just because I would think of other people’s feelings rather than my own.

As it comes to others, some people seemed perfectly fine with my new approach, most of them already knew about my experiment, others felt offended by my blunt way of expressing things (some of them I think will never call again), and others were just surprised at first but seemed to appreciate the honesty more than it bothered them.

One month gone and I am still working on having my first full day without a single half-truth or lie. 11 more months to make it happen.

What defines us

We are defined by our age, sex, race, weight, height, eye colour, education, wealth, relationships, workplace, job role, principles, way of talking, way of dressing, actions. But there is one thing that speaks louder than all of these.  It’s our choices.

You can choose your education, your job, the way you dress, the way you talk, the way you act. You can choose everything, even the things you think you don’t have any control over. You can’t choose the age you have, but you can choose to act your age or not. You can’t choose your race, but you can choose to not let it matter or not.

Everything we do is a choice. You can choose to talk or listen, to do a great job or a poor one, to lead or follow, to change things or fight against change, to be motivated or to complain, to make commitments, to deliver, to matter, to be memorable, to be irreplaceable, to show up, to act or not.

All you have to do is make a choice and stick to it. Refusing to make a choice and just letting time pass is making a choice. It’s choosing not to pick anything specifically. Stop wasting time and make a choice today.

Everything is up to you.

Customer service

Most people have a problem understanding customer service.  Actually, customer service is really simple to understand. There is no secret to it. What’s really hard is doing it right.

First of all, customer service is not what you think the customer wants, it’s not what other customers you had wanted nor what consultants or statistics say. Customer service is what the customer wants. Full stop.

Each customer is an individual with expectations you have to meet. These expectations vary from customer to customer and your duty is to adjust to each of them. Once you understand this, customer experience will become even more difficult than you had considered it before.

Now you know what you have to do. Go out there, learn from each of your customers, find out what they need, what they want, what they expect from you and then deliver it.

How did you make it

I have been asked a few days ago, how did I make it, what did I do to succeed.

First of all I am not even half way there. I can say I have obtained most of the things I  wanted and actually tried to do, but I still have a lot to go. I don’t consider myself a success story, yet.

Even so I couldn’t leave these questions unanswered. After a few minutes of trying to see what got me to where I am right now I gave an answer that didn’t really satisfy me; but it was more than nothing and the best I could do at that time under those circumstances.

Now I want to go a bit into details. But before I do that I want to share with you my answer. I always did the things I liked and wanted to do. I have spent a lot of time with people already doing the things I wanted to do. I have read a lot of things related to my field of interest at that moment. I have always tried to do the things I wanted at the job I had or I have tried to find one where I could do them.

What I should have also mentioned is that I have always been really curious, always asking why and always wanting to know more. I have never settled with not knowing an answer. I always googled what I didn’t know. I never said I couldn’t do something before I tried. If I didn’t know how, I researched how others did it and tried to do it myself.

I have always believed in myself. Sometimes I may have been overconfident or arrogant, but that’s what made me believe in myself. I have taken risks. I have tried to take advantage of every chance I got. I have always tried to see how others do things and learned from them what I thought was going to help me.

These are just a few things I should have added then. Except for these, there are a lot more things to say, but I think you’ve got where I am heading with this. There is no one thing, one secret ingredient to success. This combination worked for me until now. I can’t say it will work for you. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. But what I can say is that these things will surely help.

I don’t know what the key to success is, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone else.

Life is about…

Having fun.

Being successful.

Inspiring others.

Sex, drugs and rock’n’roll.

Accumulating as much knowledge as possible.

Making a lot of money and buying everything you want.

Falling in love and having a family.

Being famous.

Making your dreams come true.

Traveling and meeting new people.

Helping others.

… whatever you want it to be about. No one really knows. This is the whole beauty of life. You can do anything and everything you want and you still won’t be wrong. There is no right answer to this. So no matter what others tell you, do what you want, what you like and what feels right to you.

Stop listening to others and live your own life, not the life they never had the courage to live for themselves.