Deserving better than that

If you ever thought you deserve better than that, you have to know you didn’t. You get exactly what you deserve even if you have the impression you might have deserved more. Think of this like any imperfect market without a balance between offer and demand, and where rewards and outcomes vary even for similar actions and products.

Some people believe they should be treated better, they should have a better salary or a better job, a better house, a better car, better friends or lovers. What they don’t consider is that all of these are consequences of their actions and if they are unhappy with the current state and results it’s up to them to change things.

Life is not a place where everything is balanced and fair, where people get exactly the same rewards for doing identical things. Life is random, luck has a lot more influence that people are willing to accept and any detail, no matter how small, can make a huge difference.

The good side of this is that it can also work in your favour. You could hit the jackpot with something you never expected while something you would normally believe will be a success will do really bad. All you have to do is never give up, try over and over again and always try to learn from previous experiences.

Deserving and actually getting are not the same thing.

Your number one fan

It has to be you. Even if it might sound ridiculous, it’s one of the most important things. A lot of people do things they don’t like, hate their jobs, stay in dysfunctional relationships, don’t like the way they look.

It’s hard to make someone else like you when you don’t like yourself. If you are not satisfied with your work, if you don’t find it emotionally rewarding, then other won’t either.

Anything you do, you must be proud of it, it has to make you happy and you have to be enthusiastic about showing it to others. This is how fans act and that’s how your relationship with your art should be.

In order to become your number one fan you have to start doing the things you love.

The story people need to hear

The power of storytelling lies in two things; the story being told and how you tell it. They are both essential to a good story, but no matter how good you are at storytelling if the story you choose does not resonate with the other person, it’s a losing battle.

This is why most sales representatives fail with their clients, why most people giving a speech will lose their audience, why companies fail getting customers, people getting a job or the project they want. They all just approach the other part and start telling them a story, without even knowing what the other person is interested in.

All you have to do is take your time, be patient, ask a lot of questions, be empathic and resonate with the other person. Get the information, find the other person’s needs, learn from his past experiences and then use that to empower your story. Make each story personal, meaningful for the other person on an emotional level. This is how you will get attention, interest and results.

Asking the right questions will lead you exactly to the story the other person will want to hear.

Trying to impress

Stop doing it.

Usually, the more you try to do it, the less you will succeed. Trying to impress means that you need to get attention and in order to do that you need to get into people’s faces. Everyone wants their share of attention, the need to feel important, meaningful and involved.

Once you try to capture all the attention, it will make them react and reject you. Struggling to get attention is really hard and most times ends up in people considering you as spam, intrusive and eventually end up ignoring you.

On the other hand, if you focus on your art, put in the effort, offer emotional implication and create curiosity, you won’t need to struggle for attention nor will you need to try to impress people.

Once you create something memorable people will know. Focus on doing something worth being remembered.

Exploiting your advantage

Every person and company has to find their advantage, their competitive edge, their talent in order to succeed. In their search to find advantages, most people and companies look at the same things. People usually look at skills, knowledge and experience, while companies look at price, quality and new technologies.

While these advantages are certain to bring the extra value in order to succeed, when most people compete on the same level it always becomes harder to get to the top and keep yourself there. This is the point where creativity and innovation kick in by finding and exploiting other characteristics that can become an advantage.

An excellent example is Starbucks. Even if their main products are coffee based drinks, they don’t serve the best coffee in the world, not even by far. As they state, they are not even in the serving coffee business, but in delivering joy. They are a coffee shop, selling coffee, but their focus – their advantage – is the joy they deliver.

The same is true for employees. Most try to fit the job description, to have the necessary skills that everyone has in order to better fulfill the job requirements, but they lack that something special. When having to choose from a large mass of people with almost the same skills, people will start to look for that element that makes the difference. Most times it’s about the attitude, about having the courage to stand out, to be noticed and to be memorable.

These people are the ones who break the rules, the ones who change everyone’s mood when they enter the room, the ones who will never give up or back down. They are the artists, the ones who find their talent and exploit it to the maximum.