Why do you do it?

The four major options on Facebook when it comes to interaction are posting something, liking what others have posted, sharing stuff and commenting. This is also true for other social networks, for blogs and also for real life. I will stick to the Facebook example but you can go ahead and apply this to everything else out there.

Posting something is your way to send your message, ideas, thoughts, feelings across to other people. This is how you can contribute, how you can inspire, motivate or just inform other people, and how you can create or help spread something. The post is the product you send out there hoping to make a change for the better.

Liking is your way to show appreciation for someone else’s idea, art, work and for the impact it had on you. This is how you can encourage other people to keep doing the things you enjoy, find useful or that you would like to see more often.

Sharing is used to show to others the work someone has done and that they don’t have access to. It is the best way get attention in order to help ideas grow, to help others trying to make a change and to help communities expand.

Comments are used to offer feedback, to debate, to criticize, to suggest improvements. This is how you can directly contribute to someone else’s work with your input.

You can do all these things or you can just use posts, likes, sharing and comments for your own interests. You can post only what will benefit you, like or share the things that when seen by others will make you look good in their eyes, or make comments to make yourself appear in a certain way.

It’s your choice if you want to contribute or you just want to market yourself. Meaningful relationships, change and progress though will only come from showing interest in others as well, not only in yourself.

Doing the wrong thing

All successful people have done at least a few wrong things in their lives. Some of them even say that those things have been some of the best lessons they had in life.

Doing the right things doesn’t always work. So many people are doing it every single day but they never achieve what they want. When so many people are doing only the right things, doing the wrong thing might be your only advantage.

You should never be afraid of doing something wrong. It might turn out to be the best thing you have ever done. And if it turns out it wasn’t, rock bottom can be a solid foundation for a new, fresh start.

Not doing anything is worse than doing the wrong thing because you will never learn anything new.

Start

making mistakes.

saying I’m sorry.

doing things that scare you.

a thing you love each day.

doing more sports.

a healthier diet.

taking risks.

making love.

meeting with friends on a regular basis.

doing your job better.

making something good for others too.

Things won’t change merely because you want them to. The best way to change how things are is by starting to do them differently. After you start, you can adjust on the way and transform everything exactly as you want it to be. But until you get to where you want, you must start moving in that direction.

Doing things is the only plan that produces real results.

The things that make us happy

We could all think about a few things that would make us happy at this moment. I, for one, would be a bit more happy with a new camera, a plane ticket to New York or a pair of double strap monk shoes. I am sure I can think of a few other things if given enough time.

People go that far and say that if they had one or a few things then they would be really, truly happy. They build this fantasy, this perfect world, where they would be happy if only they had those things. This is why they will spend most of their time trapped in their quest to obtain those things which should make them happy.

What happens though is that when they do get those things, if ever, they will be happy for a few hours, a few days or a few months at the most. After that they will get used to them and the happiness will fade away. Things can make you happy, but that happiness will not last and then you will have to find another thing to make you happy. That’s how you get trapped in a loop were happiness is just a brief moment of peace between struggles.

True happiness is not found in things.

No half-truths, no lies – progress

It’s been more than a month since I started this experiment, no half-truths, no lies, on the 31st of December. It’s not nearly as easy as I would have expected it to be. For the first few days I caught myself saying some half-truths and even some small lies without even realizing I was saying them.

This made me realize that half-truths were more of a habit for me than an exception to my regular speech. Most of them were just a way to protect other people’s feelings by saying the things I believe in a polite way, masking the truth behind some pretty words, but at the same time losing a bit of my actual beliefs and feelings in the process.

I have also realized that most of the lies I said were, just as the half-truths, meant to keep from hurting other people’s feelings. Most of them were omission lies and not really an attempt to distort facts.

After the first two weeks this constant check to cut out all half-truths and lies made me more present in the conversation, more aware of the interaction and more opened. Many conversations have become more meaningful and deeper than they would usually turn out to be. This is one of the things I’m most excited about.

I said things I never thought I would say before, just because I would think of other people’s feelings rather than my own.

As it comes to others, some people seemed perfectly fine with my new approach, most of them already knew about my experiment, others felt offended by my blunt way of expressing things (some of them I think will never call again), and others were just surprised at first but seemed to appreciate the honesty more than it bothered them.

One month gone and I am still working on having my first full day without a single half-truth or lie. 11 more months to make it happen.